Ajax joined our family this past Christmas. A sweet, loving kitten with extra thumbs and old man ear hair, his loving warmth won the entire family over immediately. We fell in love with our new baby and allowed ourselves to fully enjoy his kitten antics.
My husband adopted Ajax from the local shelter. Our friend had hosted the kittens until they were ready to go to their forever homes and she also ended up adopting one. Our big cat - Cinnamon, a 17-year old siamese - wasn't too thrilled about the new addition to our home. She showed her dismay by hissing at the kitten and smacking him down when he got too meowi kasowi around her.
Turns out our kitten is really ill. I made the appointment to put him down tomorrow. Our lives have been so distraught this winter - Dragon Winter 2017. I thought last winter was difficult. We got the most snow Central Oregon had seen in over 20 years. We were whited out for about 3 months. I got pneumonia after the flu and almost died. I thought I had survived Dragon Winter. Yet this year is packing quite a punch. The difference is I'm stronger now. Last year winter whispered in my ear, "You're not strong enough to survive the storm." This year I shouted out loud in winter's face " I am the effing storm."
Through burst of tears and deep calming breaths, I ask aloud, what can I learn from this? And immediately the answer dawns like a bright new day. Be grateful. Grateful for the time spent with such a sweet loving little being. What a bummer. Our kitten baby is dying. And we're so lucky to have known so much joy and love so deeply and quickly. For your 2 extra thumbs we dubbed you Six-Fingered Jack. Your silky soft fur and fluffy cat's tail kitten tail are extraordinaire. You will forever live in our hearts. Such a brilliant little spark of light in our lives, you changed our family forever and I am so grateful.
Aparigraha is one of the yamas in the 8 limbs of yoga outlined by Patanjali. Yama or Virtues is one of these limbs and a philosophy for fostering integral relationships with all other beings. Aparigraha is non-grasping. Non-grasping means letting go. This is so difficult to do gracefully. I want to throw myself on the ground and kick up my feet and just wail, endlessly wail until there's nothing left of me. But I'm not 2 years old anymore and I have little people who are looking up to me. So I'll breathe Om and know I'm blessed for our little season with Ajax.
I love you Ajax. I am so lucky to have known you, even if it was just for a little season.
Om Namah Shivaya,